Whose got the button?

Damian and I cleaned out our closet. As we were going through our hung up clothes piece by piece, I was surprised when Damian pulled out his brown and yellow striped shirt and tossed it in the donate pile without the slightest hesitation.

**I feel somewhat of a responsibility to document the history of said shirt for posterity.**

It was the bright and sunny day in the spring of 2008. For some reason, Damian had decided it was going to be one of the five chosen days of the year that he patron a retail establishment. He drove by a Wal-mart that seemed to have a magnetism about it that pulled his car into a parking place. He wasn’t sure why he made the stop to Wally World, but assumed it was his subconscious desire to see what the low-price guarantee was all about.

However, he had unknowingly been drawn into the store by a shirt. Some would say it was not so pretty with its mustard yellow and brown stripes, but when Damian saw it all he could think of was getting it on his burly tanned chest.

Beside the striped shirt was a rack of camouflage cargo shorts that he was also drawn to. When he saw the price he hurried to the checkout, unable to bear the anticipation of owning these two fine pieces of clothing any longer.

He sped home and donned the items. Now you might think that a brown and yellow striped shirt doesn’t have any business being paired with camouflage shorts, but your name isn’t Damian.

Damian strutted out to the kitchen to model his new ensemble for his lovely wife; sure she wouldn’t be able to bear his irresistible presentation. Unfortunately, the only thing she couldn’t bear was his fashion sense and the idea that when he actually chose to spend money on clothing for himself, this is what he purchased. A stifled giggle erupted from her throat as she began to question the theory behind his purchase. “It is sweet! And it was only seven bucks!!”

She was afraid to say too much for the fear of discouraging her husband from spending money and decided to leave him with whatever enthusiasm remained for his outfit. Questioning his wife’s judgment, he turned to her sister-in-law, Megan, who had witnessed his debut. “Don’t you think this is a sweet shirt?” he asked with a look of satisfaction on his face. He was shocked when she replied, “Um, well it’s not my favorite.”

The couple went their separate ways shaking their heads. Later that night, despite the earlier discord, they were sharing an embrace. Suddenly, Damian’s wife noticed that the top button on Damian’s new shirt was missing. He didn’t believe her when she told him, but upon further investigation the missing button was found under his collar. It had been sewn about an inch to the left from where it should have been. They both shared a laugh and even Damian found the humor when his wife reminded him, “Well, it looks like it is true. You get what you pay for!”

**Author took creative liberties to dramatize and embellish her always handsome- no matter what he's wearing- husband.**